Odds are, you’ve seen jealousy at some point in your life and career. If you feel jealous of others, I invite you to checkout my previous post on the topic of jealousy. But what do you do when you’re on the receiving end? It can make your life difficult.
Jealousy manifests itself in many ways. Some show it by making your life difficult, others are fans and emulate everything you do. There’s another group that in my opinion is the most dangerous. This group wants you to fail.
Dealing With Jealousy
I have always been a dedicated employee. Often times people have said something to the extent of, “I don’t know why you xyz so much, it gets you nothing more than a mediocre employee”. They are 100% correct…to an extent. What they don’t realize is what drives me is not monetary, good reviews, or even promotions. My drive is found within me. Giving my 100% is part Biblical, part internal motivation, and part life with ADHD.
In my every job I’ve had, I volunteered for extra. There was no ill intent. I was not trying to one up anyone, it was for me. Why is it that I felt the vicious attacks of jealousy then?
It took me a long time to figure this out, but when I did it blew my mind. Miserable people hate seeing happy people. They’re quite frankly, jealous. Since my drive is internal, my joy is internal as well. This equates to “killing them with kindness”.
So back to our topic. What do you do with jealous people? There are different ways to handle each group.
Group 1 – Make life difficult.
These are the passive aggressive people. They don’t go out of their way to hurt you, but they don’t help you. This group can often be saved. You can spend time reckoning with this group and win influence that can be used when needed.
Group 2 – Fans.
This group wants to be like you. They will copy everything you do in an effort to get closer to bring you. Be cautious with this group, they can spew flattery that is useless and even lies to be in your presence.
Group 3 – Destructive Group.
This group hates seeing you succeed. It could be driven from a run in years ago, the feeling that they should have been promoted over you, or flat out distaste for life. This group offers you very little and often brings you down.
Why does it have to be this way? If you thought middle school was behind you, think again! The road is tough and only the strong can get through the path less traveled. Search within for your drive and joy. Use that as motivation on hard days. Don’t let others rob happiness from you.
I’ve mentored people through hard times like this. There is no easy fix but the results are worth pushing through. Hang in there and remember that leadership is hard. If it weren’t, we’d all be super leaders.