Not the one written in glossy onboarding trainings, but the real one. The one that lives in break rooms, behind closed doors, and in the quiet resistance of the most dangerous words in corporate America, “we’ve always done it this way.”
I learned this the hard way.
Early in my transition from law enforcement into the private sector, I took over a team that didn’t want me. Not personally, but symbolically. I represented change, new expectations, accountability, and a threat to comfort disguised as tradition.
They weren’t overtly defiant. But they weren’t bought in either. It wasn’t sabotage. It was survival. And here’s what that resistance taught me about real culture.
Culture Is Revealed in Resistance, Not Agreement
When things are easy, people nod along. When change shows up, the real beliefs come out. And boy, can it come out.
That team had been burned before. Multiple bosses. Shifting priorities. Flavor-of-the-month initiatives that left no lasting impact.
Their resistance wasn’t laziness, it was based on their experiences. They’d seen enough to stop believing words would lead to action.
As a leader, I had two choices:
Force compliance through authority.
Or earn commitment through trust.
I chose trust. It took longer, it was harder, but it built something real.
Clarity Is More Powerful Than Charisma
I thought I needed to inspire them. But they didn’t need a speech. They needed a plan.
They needed to know:
What was changing and what wasn’t.
Why it mattered.
How success would be measured.
And most importantly, how it affected them.
So I stopped trying to be impressive. And I started being specific. Because clarity breeds confidence, and confidence opens the door to buy-in.
Consistency Builds the Culture You Want
I didn’t win them over in a week or a month, but they noticed when I kept showing up.
When the standards didn’t drop. When they were coached, not criticized. When praised in public and corrected in private. Whe decisions matched values. Even when it costs more time, comfort, or popularity.
Culture isn’t declared. It’s demonstrated. And nothing demonstrates more than consistency. (You see a trend here?)
Resistance Isn’t the Enemy, It’s the Invitation
The toughest teams to lead are often the most honest. They’ll show you exactly where trust is missing, where leadership is needed, and where culture must be rebuilt. But if you’re willing to listen through the pushback and lead with integrity, you’ll build something stronger than compliance, you’ll build commitment.
Because real culture doesn’t come from slogans on the wall, it’s forged in the hard conversations, the earned trust, and the leadership that shows up even when it’s not welcomed yet.
Lead through resistance and you’ll earn the right to shape the culture that follows.
Why Leadership Under Pressure Has Less to Do with Protocols and More to Do with People
There’s a moment before every high-stakes event where the world feels like it holds its breath. The stands are full, radios crackle, eyes are on you, and all the preparation you’ve done gets boiled down to split-second decisions and how well your team trusts you to make them.
It took me years and more than a few lessons learned the hard way to realize something important. People don’t rise to the level of your plan. They fall to the level of your leadership.
Whether you’re leading security operations for an NFL game, coordinating emergency response for a stadium evacuation, or guiding a team through any high-pressure environment, these are the three lessons I wish someone had pulled me aside and said out loud.
1. People Don’t Follow Plans, and They Follow People
You can write the perfect operations plan. You can laminate, color-code, and send it to every stakeholder twice. But when things go sideways, and they will, your people will look to you, not the binder.
I learned this during an afternoon event when a severe weather alert forced us to consider evacuating 70,000 fans. Every protocol said one thing. But the decision-making needed leadership, not checklist-following. My team needed clarity. They needed confidence. And they needed it from me, not page 42 of the EOP.
A great plan makes you feel prepared. A great leader makes others feel capable. And when the pressure hits, that’s what matters most.
2. Trust Is Built Before the Pressure Starts
You don’t build trust in the middle of a crisis. You cash in on the trust you’ve already built.
My mistake early on was assuming my title came with automatic trust. It doesn’t. Trust is built in the mundane moments, pre-shift huddles, showing up consistently, owning your mistakes.
When you’ve taken the time to listen to your people, to include them in decision-making, to be human, you’ve already invested in a line of credit you’ll draw on when the heat’s on.
In my experience, the teams that move fastest in a crisis aren’t the ones with the best gear or the most experience. They’re the ones who trust each other enough to act without second-guessing.
Don’t wait for the sirens to build the relationship. That’s too late.
3. Your Calm Is More Contagious Than Your Commands
Early in my career, I thought command presence meant being loud, assertive, and directive.
But in a bomb threat scenario where panic was one sentence away, I learned the real truth. What you model emotionally matters more than what you say.
If you’re calm, others will be too. Your tone, posture, and breathing set the emotional temperature of the room or the stadium. It’s not about suppressing urgency; it’s about channeling it.
One of my mentors told me, “You don’t get to panic. Not because you’re not scared, but because they need to believe it’s handled.” That stuck.
In high-stakes moments, your presence is the plan. Act accordingly.
Here’s the Bottom Line
Leadership under pressure isn’t about being the loudest voice or the smartest person in the room. It’s about being the clearest presence. It’s about being the one others instinctively trust when the plan unravels.
People don’t follow plans. They follow people. And the kind of leader you are before the game starts determines what happens after the whistle blows.
If you’re preparing to lead in high-stakes environments or already are, let this be your reminder:
Show up before the crisis.
Build trust when it’s quiet.
And carry calm like it’s part of your uniform.
You won’t always get it perfect. But if your people know you have their back and lead with clarity, consistency, and calm, you’ll get them through.
And that’s leadership that lasts beyond the event.
